Friday, October 18, 2019

I fucked up

I fucked up and drank last night. Not a good thing. I think it was just all the emotional turmoil of everything going on with the BF. I feel like shit this morning - and I need to remember what this feels like so next time I won't be so quick to run to the bottle.

My head hurts, I feel off and horrible. This is not a good feeling. This is why I need to stop.

I got mad at him for not making plans, not doing what I want and it's wrong. I mean, drunk texted him before going to bed. I don't know why he puts up with it from me. I had broken up with him, but he still called me in the morning.

I just want this all to be over, I feel like I'm stuck right now. I want to move on with my life and I feel like I'm stuck in limbo - but still not a good reason to get pissy drunk.

So I can't sit here and beat myself up over it, I need to pick myself up and keep moving forward. One mistake does not mean I need to keep drinking, I am going to continue my sober journey, and hopefully I have learned my lesson this time.

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