Wednesday, October 2, 2019

The first 24


Today marks 24 hours sober for me. I can do this. I am strong, and determined to make it though. This isn't the first time, but I so do hope it is the last.

I've been  a disgusting mess. It's time to quit drinking - I've been doing nothing but making an ass of myself.  I don't drink everyday, but I do binge a few times a week which is not any better. I can't handle my alcohol anymore and I can't control the stupid, embarrassing shit I do when I get drunk.

Do I really want to destroy everything? It's not worth it.

Stop fucking everything up because I think drinking makes me feel better. I'm a coward.  I need to face my emotions head on like a big girl. Stop feeling so insecure about myself. I'm smart, beautiful and I had my shit together at one point. I need to get that back.

I need to work on me and stop worrying about him and what stupid fucking thing he's going to do next - because you know it will happen and there isn't a fucking thing you can do about it until it does. He's 72 hours sober right now which is awesome, but I need to take the time to fix me as well.

Fuck everyone else and their opinions of you and what you should be doing according to them - do you and get it right.  

No comments:

Post a Comment

It's been quite a journey the past few months. I've managed to stay sober for over 90 days and did have a few drinks over the holid...